Friday, August 14, 2009

Answers in Genesis refuses Gods Command!

As many of you are no doubt aware our organization, the Answers in Leviticus' ministry, founded in late 2001, holds strictly to the literal word of God as revealed in the King James version bible.
As leader of our congregation, I, Pastor Ben L. Aden welcome all enquiries from dutiful worshipers who need to know how God wants them to behave.

That many of us need to be reminded of Gods preferences is a mystery to me for He has written clear instructions in one place and one place only.
The Bible - King James Version.

The path of the true Christian is narrow.
The path is fraught with dangers of materialism, vice and false religion (Islam, Hinduism, Catholicism, Episcopalianism)
There is but one way to remain on the correct path and that is to remain true to the literal word of God.

Now there are many who claim to follow the rules the God Himself has written.
But their actions betray their serpent words.

I call on one such group to repent now before it is too late.
Ken Ham and Answers in Genesis come back to the Lord.
Follow the true instructions as written in Gods hold Commandments and illustrated in the book of numbers

Numbers 15:32-36 (King James Version)

32And while the children of Israel were in the wilderness, they found a man that gathered sticks upon the sabbath day.

33And they that found him gathering sticks brought him unto Moses and Aaron, and unto all the congregation.

34And they put him in ward, because it was not declared what should be done to him.

35And the LORD said unto Moses, The man shall be surely put to death: all the congregation shall stone him with stones without the camp.

36And all the congregation brought him without the camp, and stoned him with stones, and he died; as the LORD commanded Moses.

Can this instruction be any clearer?
And yet what do we find at Pastor Hams Creation Museum?

Can Pastor Ham have so easily forgotten the commandment:

Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. Ex. 16.23-30

But let us not be too hasty with Pastor Ham.
His organization has, after all, done much work to remove the evils of scientific understanding of nature from the lives of so many true Christians.
We call on Pastor Ham to make amends for his sin by joining us next Sunday outside his museum as we gather round in joyful prayer before, united as the one true Christian congregation, we commence the necessary holy stoning of the Sabbath breakers.






9 comments:

Gary said...

Dude! Ken Ham is like the LAST person I want to get stoned with... Something tells me he is like a real downer and not into good karma.

Graham said...

There's 'Pick-up-Sticks' at Ham's place on Sundays?????
SERIOUSLY, SOOOOO THEEERRRRE!!!!

glbrown said...

Man, that's a damned good observation.

I was wondering how would we go about asking kenny about this? Those folks are getting paid to work on the sabbeth so it is a reasonable question.

Seshua said...

C'mon, you know that the Mosaic laws no longer apply, having been supplanted by the New Testament.

... that is unless we want them to.

You have to know that we get to arbitrarily pick whatever biblical pronouncements fits our particular prejudice, right?

What good is my religion if I don't get to hate [insert name here]?

snarla said...

Today's Christians may not know, but God certainly does, that the Sabbath is Saturday, not Sunday.

Come on, Answers in Leviticus, get it right.

jDub said...

I see Saturday hours at Ham's Folly too. We have the theological upper hand either way.

BobbyEarle said...

jDub...

Did you mean hand job?

Strictly in the theological sense, of course.

Seshua said...

Isn't the gathering of stones somewhat equivalent to gathering sticks? Shouldn't they have stoned themselves?

As for the Creation Museum, you'd have to be stoned or otherwise mentally impaired to go in there, so it's perfectly reasonable for them to be open on the Sabbath.

Male Pig said...

Everyone must get stoned